Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
