we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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