he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
