I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
