my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
