She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
