wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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