Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize