Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he fucked my hip out of place.
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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