Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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