yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
