it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
