I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
