I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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