thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
