remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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