She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
