seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
