i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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