Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
