You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
