You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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