i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we're making bets on your personal life
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
