the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
