Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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