That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
