Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
