Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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