Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
