Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
