Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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