He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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