Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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