The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
