I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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