I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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