u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
