it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
