i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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