Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it glows. i had to have it.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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