You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
