if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.