so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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