capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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