Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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