yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
