Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize