They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
