Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize