Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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