Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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