found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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