i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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