My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
