Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
