who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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