I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
it glows. i had to have it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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