Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize