so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
