I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
