is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
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i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize