I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
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The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
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He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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