How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you would pick up someone in the library
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
