they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
