It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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