I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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