so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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